Julien has difficulties putting his construction blocks together. Losing his patience, he comes to you and ask for your help; however, you are not available. Disappointed, Julien goes back to his construction and as he sees his big brother, he asks for his help. Julien’s brother accepts and together, they complete the construction.

Real Life Situation

Why is it important for a child to develop a supportive relationship with her siblings?

When a 4-year-old child faces difficulties, most of the time, she will go and see her parent for comfort and support. But when the parent is not available, cannot help the child or deliberately chooses to let the child solve her problem by herself, she must then seek help from others.

Those that are closest to her are her brothers and sisters (they are present and known to the child). They are also the most “qualified” people to help the child as they know her well and in most cases, when they were her age, they went through the same experiences. For an only child, in some ways, a friend, a cousin or a well-known neighbour can be like a big brother or a big sister to her.

When a big brother agrees to help, the younger child finds the help she needs to cope with the situation: it gives her the ability to succeed, overcome obstacles and solve her problems. Similarly, the trust she puts in her older brother makes him feel great as he knows he contributes to his little sister’s success and they both share the pride! In such a context, it is quite expected that the older child makes the younger child promise to help him if need be, especially if the two children are about the same age: “If I help you build a castle, you’ve got to promise to help me clean my room”.

This nascent collaboration between them makes them feel more at ease to handle the difficulties in life. Without this collaboration, a child would rely strongly on his parents and would easily become vulnerable when they’re away. Parents must therefore encourage their child to develop a cooperative relationship with her siblings or if she is an only child, with the children she’s close to.

Tips for Parents

How can you promote the development of a cooperative relationship between your children ?

• Encourage them to help each other and let them take the initiative
  In the beginning, in order for them to help each other, children need to be guided. You may suggest some ways to help their brother or sister: “You could lend her this or that, or give her a glass of milk…”, or you could encourage them to seek help from their brothers or sisters by showing them how they could help them: “Your big sister is very good at making crafts…”. Then, it is preferable to let them sort things out so a sense of collaboration develops between them spontaneously.
  
  
• Praise your children’s initiatives
  If you want them to develop this cooperative behavior in a positive manner, it is important for them to see how much you enjoy seeing them help each other. Each time they do it, congratulate them.
  


• Set an example
  Your children will help each other if they see you help others. When you help a friend or a relative, have your children participate in the activities. They will learn how to help each other and will do the same with their peers, their brothers and sisters and you.
  


• Avoid creating rivalry or jealousy between your children
  Don’t make comparisons and avoid showing a preference for one of them. Instead of comparison, promote their differences by praising their unique characters, talents and tastes without putting others down.
  

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