Theme	Can't get understood
	Category	Relationships with oneself (communication skills)

Real Life Situation

Why can it be difficult for children to be understood?

At 4-years-old, a child is developing her language skills. She learns new words everyday and gets familiar with the basic rules of grammar; she also learns to adjust her speech to the one of the person she speaks to.

Even though at this age, her language skills are strong enough to enable her to speak with an adult, she may not always be able to be fully understood due to a lack of words. To overcome this difficulty, the child may be inclined to insist on having the adult guess the word she wants to say (e.g., “you know, we saw it at the store”). Then, an interesting guessing game may begin. The child will identify distinctive characteristics of the object she has in mind with the hope that the adult will recognize it (e.g., “it’s blue…”) and the adult will do the same by asking several questions (e.g., “can we eat it?”). Sometimes, this fun game will find a happy ending when the adult finds out the word, but sometimes, the child will remain frustrated and disappointed if she fails to be understood.

At this age, the child may also be struggling with the pronunciation of a few consonant blends (e.g., “bl”, “tr” and “sm”), when “r” becomes “w”, or with longer words (e.g., crocodile, television). The word, as pronounced by the child, can’t be recognized (e.g., “rabbit” becomes “wabbit”). Therefore, the child has a tendency to pronounce the same word over and over again (with the same pronunciation), but using an increasingly frustrated tone. Despite the adult disarray, the child often gets angry at him as she simply can’t imagine why her parent can’t understand what she’s saying.

Also, the child may pause before repeating the same word or the same sentence many times. This is quite normal and is in no way an indication that your child develops a stutter. The child may also have some problems organizing her speech as at that age, the concept of time is not completely integrated. This also explains why she may talk about specific events and get confused about their chronology.

These difficulties may last if all the adults around her persist on trying to understand what she is saying despite her speech weaknesses. Even if it is reassuring for the child to get understood despite her mispronunciations, she needs to be stimulated and encouraged to speak more clearly so she can develop her language skills to the fullest. Adults have therefore a vital role to play but his success depends on how he will speak and behave with the child.

Tips for Parents

How can you help your child if she has speech problems?

• Be patient and confident.
  Do not get impatient when your child has difficulties expressing herself. Tell her to take her time and let her complete her sentence without finishing it for her. If your child has speech problems, it is important for her to feel that you accept her difficulties and that you believe in her abilities to improve her language skills and to speak more clearly.
  


• Gently correct the words your child mispronounces and give her the correct pronunciation.
  By insisting on the more difficult sounds, you can gradually correct the words she is saying and still continue the conversation with her without focusing on her mistakes. It is not recommended to use your child’s language. If you repeat your child’s mispronunciations or incorrect words, she will be deprived of a precious tool to help her improve her speech.
  


• Talk with your child.
  Your child learns how to speak by speaking with you. When you speak with her, slowly describe what you are doing by using simple and clear sentences. Name the objects you give her and those she asks for.
  


• To stimulate the communication with your child, play with her.
  To enhance communication with your child, tell her stories and play with the words and sounds of the story, make rhymes and tell lullabies or sing.
  


• See an expert if you worry about the development of your child’s language skills.
  As speech problems can lead to learning problems, do not hesitate to see a speech therapist if her language skills don’t develop at the same rate as similarly aged children. The speech therapist can help you identify the causes of her speech delay and propose solutions.
  
  
  
  
  
  
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